For me 2011 means I have been "CANCER FREE" for six years. I was more then shocked as how quickly the time has passed, though I still have issues.....like my teeth still hurt from chemo. My hair has been back for a long time....but where did I get this wave?
I don't think about the disease that much anymore, except when I recall, "they" never did tell me about "Chemo Head". For those of you without the knowledge.....during the chemo process, quick growing cells are poisoned and killed. Well, some of those cells have to do with short term memory. For a time (about a year), I couldn't track very well, and I lived with post-it notes pasted to my computer screen. I'd list tasks to complete, so I could do my job. Oh yea, I was working about 60 hours per week.
After my last chemo and radiation treatments, I was even more frighten. You see I had this second chance at life....."WOULD I BLOW IT?" I didn't want all this crap I had been through to mean nothing.
My art came back to me.
I started to blog and paint and set up my website http://www.nancysutter.com/ . I post and post on art sites and I paint. I still had my fears, that I would run out of time. "Oh, and that's another thing." If you know anyone or if you have yourself, if you have gone through a life threatening situation....when you come out on the otherside, TIME changes.
Now you don't have any time to waste, you don't sleep in. Boyfriends that take forever to commit are dumped, because you don't have time to waste, and lord help the guy who squanders it. Your patience is gone for little trivial things, you don't spend so much time on Facebook. You spend even less time with friends who still fight about petty issues.
2011 marks the halfway point of being cleared....it's another six years I have to live through before I get a free and clear bill of health.
So, what do you do.....you live......you look at each day, like it's your birthday.....you tackle your life in a way that makes sense to you. I paint and maybe on a small scale change the world. And for all those, going through treatment.......YOU WILL SURVIVE and it will be wonderful.
